~Breakthrough~

Don't you love it when you feel like you've had one of those major breakthroughs spiritually that you've been trying so hard to get?! Today I experienced one of those breakthroughs. I've been struggling so much with loneliness and trying to do things on my own and I just couldn't seem to make it all work. I knew why...I was leaving God out of the picture. I wasn't looking to Him to fulfill those desires and those voids in my heart. I would cry out to Him to make the hurts and miseries go away, but I wasn't trusting Him. I wanted Him to do all the work, but I too, have to want it. Today in church my wonderful pastor was talking about this very same thing. We wrestle with God, but we never win. What God eventually does in our lives is bring us to the end of ourselves to where we can't go anymore on our own. We must fully and wholly surrender ourselves to Christ, we must trust Him with our lives. We must always be surrendered to Him because He has a perfect plan for our lives. We are all very strong-willed and most of the time we have to learn things the hard way. Christ blesses the poor in spirit, when we finally admit our weaknesses. When we surrender we don't have to carry that burden anymore. We become humbled. God is persistent, He never gives up on us. God's grace is irresistible, but it is not overbearing. He cares more about our character than our than our comfort. He makes us walk through tough things to build us up and deepen our relationship with Him. He knows what He is doing because what He has in mind is always right and true. Christ brought me to the end of myself and now I trust Him completely with my life. 1 Corinthians 12:31 "But earnestly desire the higher gifts. And I will show you a still more excellent way." I love that! Praise His Holy and beautiful name! I am SO glad that my life is in His hands because there is NO way that I would ever be able to live on my own. Grace and peace to you all!

You're Not Alone

My biggest fear in life is being alone. I think to some degree we all struggle with loneliness at some point in our lives. It may come in different forms for different people. I've always struggled with it. I can't understand how some people like to be loners. I am SO not that way inclined! I must have people around me. Now granted sometimes I do need that "me time" so that I can think and have quiet time to myself. But ever since I left for college last Fall I have been lonely, even with my friends all around me. I now have this void and I keep trying to fill it with other things, but alas I keep failing and it is still empty. When we have a void in our lives, why do we try to fill it with foolish things that don't last? We should fill it with the Word and run as fast as we can to the Cross! You might say "well, I tried that but it doesn't work." Being a lonely person I know this is easier said than done. But nobody said it was easy. Lonley people have to fight for happiness and contentment. If we just read the Bible, but don't let its words teach us and fill us, then what's the point??? Like double duh!! (as my mom likes to say lol). The thing is we REALLY aren't all that alone. God is all around us in the form of His creation, but we are stubborn and sometimes we refuse to see it that way. As much as I love people, I often struggle with putting too much faith in them and setting expectations that are too high. I often make the mistake of looking to people to fill that void when I should be looking to Christ. Being the type of person that I am I DO need people, but not as much as I need Him! God is the only One that fully satisfy me, but I have to want Him in order for Him to do that. I have had to learn lots of things the hard way and this is one of them. I have put too much faith in people and the Lord has made me walk through some painful things to make me see that He is the only One I need. I have trust issues. I put too much trust in people and not enough in Christ! How pitiful is that?!? Especially since people are the sinners and He is the Perfect! Psalm 18:30 "This God-His way is perfect; the word of the Lord proves true; He is a shield for all those who take refuge in Him." I must learn to wait for the Lord and to trust in Him. His timing is perfect. It's just like the song..."trust and obey for there's no other way to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey." My mom made up a saying, "it is better to suffer a bit of short-term misery for long-term happiness." The Lord has blessed her with much wisdom. I am tired of still having that void, I am tired of being lonely, I am tired of being discontent, I am tired of this unhappiness, I am tired of trying and failing!. Psalm 34:18 "The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit." I want to be satisfied by Him! Isaiah 40:29-31 "He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might He increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint." You're not alone!

~This Heartfelt Cry~

Lord, hear my cry, this heartfelt cry.
The hurts and miseries of this world are too heavy for me to bear.
Please Lord, come deliver me from all my pain, guilt and shame.
Come deliver me and hide me in the shadow of Your wings.

Oh Lord, hear this cry, this heartfelt cry!
My soul waits for You.
Come, take my hand and take me away from this place.
Lead me to rest and deliverance.
Lead me to the Tree, the one that nailed to it all my sin and shame.

Lord, hear my cry, this heartfelt cry.
Have mercy on me and cleanse me with that Holy Blood.
Carry me to those sacred scars, let me touch that sovereign grace and feel that perfect love.

Lord, hear my cry, this heartfelt cry.
I throw away all my treasures, I take up my cross and follow You.
Draw me to Your beautiful self, and let my spirit be satisfied with Yours.

-Amy Bell 2010

Why are we disatisfied? Why do we not yearn? Why is He not the goal? Why do we not run to the Cross? I am stupid! If only I kept my eyes on Jesus! I find myself in Peter's situation alot. When I take my eyes off of Him, I sink. But God, rich in His unfailing and overwhelming love reaches down and takes my hand and picks me back up. You would think that after having fallen a time or two I would get the idea. But I'm human and I'm dumb! Why do I think I can do things my way and it will work? Proverbs 19:21 "Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails." DUH! We are crazy to think that we are smart and we can make things work ourselves!! HIS PURPOSE PREVAILS!!! NOT OURS!! I want to love Christ! I want Him to be my goal! I want to run to the Cross! I want to be satisfied by Him! I want Him to be the only thing I desire! Philippians 3:7-9 "But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For His sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith." Nothing in this world matters. It's rubbish, it's garbage, it doesn't last, it's all a total loss!!! Keep Him the focus and let Him do the work and you will be so much more satisfied in the longrun. It's just like the song; the more you seek Him, the more you find Him. The more you find Him, the more you love Him! Run to Him! Run to Him! Run to Him!! Let the Cross be your goal!!!!